


Promise

by Midori_Hime



Category: Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: Drama, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Family, Genderswap, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Teenage Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-11-22 15:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/611324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midori_Hime/pseuds/Midori_Hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all people can cope with tragedy. Seven years after her father's death, deciding to face the music, Yamato chooses to come home. But there have been a lot of loose ends that have been left and scars don't heal over night. But unless someone picks up the pieces, what was once broken can never be fixed. Genderbending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Promise

The rain continued to pour down outside, but she stood still in the cold hallway. Soaked to the skin, she had run all the way from school yet it seemed like all the adrenaline from the rush had deserted her. Her clothes were dripping wet -the doctor had wasted time by offering her a towel and a seat, but she'd refused - so the blonde couldn't help but shiver. The doctor kept talking to her, professional and attempting not to let his tiredness make him callous in his handling of her. Who cared what he said now? It was over. Her father was dead. Her precious father. What was she going to do now? The doctor's words mumbled and became nonsense. Collapsing in a dead faint, she vaguely thought that hospital floors were hard and cold.  _Otousan.. You promised you'd never leave me. Why'd you go..?_

_~.~_

She woke up in a white room, her mother and brother hurrying to stand over her, asking her how she was, if she wanted a drink and other things that were pointless. Blinking her blue eyes a bit, she tried to focus and remembered what had happened. The memories hit her like the force of a truck. Taking deep breaths to try and calm herself, the dainty blonde merely shook her head, signalling she needed some time.

"Yamato... Things will get better, sweetheart." Yamato's eyes hardened as she glared weakly at her mother. Get better? How? Her mother could be so... Ugh, whatever. She pushed herself up (with the unwanted help of a red-eyed Takeru) and looked around. Finding her mobile, she fumbled to open it. The screen flashed brightly and told her it had only been three or so hours since she'd first arrived at the hospital. Three short hours that had changed her life completely. Time certainly was a fickle friend, wasn't it?

Yamato was released later that night after numerous tests, warnings about depression and she'd had to listen to the doctor tell her family again about the circumstances of her late father's death. Afterwards, Natsuko had dragged her tired body to what she called her new home. She'd scoffed and glared a bit more, but didn't have the will to fight. The blonde singer was on shaky grounds with her mother and as much as she loved her brother, they had two different personalities, two different sets of goals and plans for their lives. Living with them wouldn't work. Why take a chance at something you know you'd fail at?

But that was the position she was stuck in at the moment. It wouldn't be for too long, at least. She'd graduate it a month and then she could get a job and go her own way. Shifting, azure eyes stared blankly at the ceiling, still covered with glow in the dark stars from when a kid had used this room years ago. Putting her right arm behind her head, Yamato tried to sleep, but after waking up from dreams filled with happy memories for the third time, she turned her effort to staying awake and ignoring times that had passed.

~.~

A week later and Yamato still refused to leave the apartment. In a situation like this, Natsuko would usually call Hiroaki, but considering that was impossible now, she was stuck. That coupled with Yamato's distantly angry attitude hurt tremendously. She was hurt and needed to be brought back to her usual self - as a parent, it was Natsuko's duty to do so. But she had no idea how.

Sadly, neither did Takeru. Yamato wasn't even talking to her beloved brother, leading to more difficulties with the stubborn girl. However, despite the difficulties Yamato presented them with, Takeru had managed to glean small amounts of information from his stubborn sister. Naturally, she was distraught at the loss of her father. Even though he was often busy and they didn't speak much, the two had held a special and strong bond. She was also nervous. Yamato had banked on being able to live at home and only have a part-time job so she could focus on her band. Now, she had to choose between the 'right choice' of going to university and getting a real job, or following her heart and staying with her band.

The last bit of information had confused Takeru, so Natsuko had to explain. Yamato was a girl, yes, and Takeru knew that. Why was she only dressing like a girl now? The younger blonde hadn't know why she had always dressed as a boy and he had to treat his sister as though she was a brother, however. Even Yamato hadn't known until just before she had gone to summer camp all those years ago. The truth was that it was for the girls own protection. In his youth, Hiroaki hadn't been the most sensible and responsible person and he had never really grown out of that, to be honest. In his younger years, however, he'd gotten mixed up in the wrong crowd.

Takeru had whispered a question, "The Yakuza?", in a slightly awed and frightened way. The older woman could only nod. "He didn't do anything bad. Just some gambling debts and petty things. But your father tried to chew more than he could handle. In the end, they attempted to use me and threaten my safety. To win me back, he offered his first born girl. I have three brothers and am the only girl in my family in three generations; Hiroaki has a similar family situation. We never thought we'd have a girl. Well.. Really, we hadn't been dating that long and, to be honest, we never thought we would last. Actually, after that incident, we broke up and I told him I never wanted to speak to him again."

Her younger son nodded and thought for a moment. The younger blonde then noticed his sister attempting to hide around the corner. Natsuko confirmed she'd also seen her silently when Takeru pointed her out and the boy continued. "Why'd you get back together then?"

"We met again closer to when we were finishing out degrees. He'd seemed to have calmed down and offered to take me out as an apology. I obviously said yes. That was when we started our relationship again. Obviously, things went on from there. We were both dismayed when Yamato was born." Takeru's eyes widened and he started to speak, but he was quickly cut off by his mum. "Not because we didn't love her, not at all. We were so pleased, but how were we supposed to protect her? We ended up deciding to raise her as a boy. No one was any wiser to her true gender. All our relatives just thought we were protective and doting when we said we'd look after her and refused to let others be too close to her."

Smiling sadly, the tired looking woman finished her tale. "It worked for so many years. We had stopped being so paranoid. Yamato's so smart and she handles herself well. She never complained and understood the seriousness of the situation. Your sister is such an amazing person. I know I would have been  _so_ resentful and angry all the time. She never rebelled though."

"How'd they find out though? Otousan had been hurt really badly.. They would have been so angry. How do you know they won't come back?"  
"I have no idea Takeru. I wish I did. I wish for so many things, but I can't change the past, no matter how much I want to. I doubt they'll come back. They got their revenge. Perhaps not in the way they wanted, but they got it nonetheless. Perhaps they'll think that this shock loss will hurt us just as much..? I wish I had the answers for you both."

Turning away from where she had been eavesdropping, Yamato stalked back to the tiny guest room. That was all old information - she hadn't learnt anything new. But she had been honest with Takeru when she told him she was going to dress more feminine from now on. Her father had died to keep her safe. It probably wasn't the smartest idea to taunt such evil bastards, but she had nothing to lose. She agreed with her estranged mother - they wouldn't be back. And if they were, she'd face the bastards head on.


	2. Words

"Look! Isn't that Ishida?"  
"Did you hear what happened to her dad?"  
"Nu-huh. What's happening? Why the hell is he a chick now?"  
"I'd tap that."  
"They say it was the Yakuza..."  
"What! Really? That's so scandalous!"  
"I always thought she was weird..."

Those whispers and more followed her from the minute she left her house. It seemed every time she turned a corner there were more and more of her classmates waiting. It was illogical, she knew that, but she couldn't help but feeling it was almost like they'd bugged her house to find out when she'd return and had staked out the route she'd take, waiting for the moment where their almost too loud whispers would travel to her ears. When she managed to reach school (in record time - it seemed that with every whisper, her feet would move just a little bit faster until the blonde ended up in an all out sprint) there was no point in whispering. Everyone already knew about the tragedy and her classmates all knew she couldn't possibly fight them or pick out their voice in the sea surrounding her.

The gossip had been festering for weeks. The news had been plastered with rumours and 'facts' of her father's death and the circumstances behind it. Her sudden re-appearence had simply reignited the curiosity among the students. Yamato couldn't blame them - if it had been someone else in her shoes, she would have been just as interested. It wasn't like she was begrudging their interest or curious natures, but did they have to be so  _loud_  about it?!

Whether it was because they agreed with her, whether they were trying to protect her or if they simply were as sick of the gossip as she was, her teacher's were incredibly strict on talkers. Or maybe she'd just forgotten what school was like in her absence. Either way, she was thankful for their actions and tried to pay more attention than she usually did. Taichi seemed to think that was an excuse for him to misbehave more than ever ("I'll just look at your notes!") but Yamato was thankful he was acting normal. It's not that he was being insensitive or ignorant - he'd come running the minute he heard to tell her he'd always be there, whenever she needed him and even if she didn't think she did need him. It was a silent agreement they had and it worked for her; his apparent normalcy made things feel better and allowed her to imagine the whispers were about some other poor kid.

The others were different though. Jyou had already graduated but he'd said he'd help if she needed anything and the younger children were trying to comfort Takeru, who was incredibly regretful he hadn't spent more time with his father. Koushirou hadn't known his own parents and Yamato's loss seemed to remind him of that fact. Mimi had tried to be diplomatic, but in the end confessed she had no idea what to do in a situation like this; it frustrated the pink-haired girl to no end, but in the end, she decided laughter and a girl's night out was the best medicine (much to Jyou's disagreement). Yamato had thanked her but said the offer was enough to make her feel better. It was better than Sora's attitude anyway.

Yamato had thought her sudden unveiling of her true self would have caused a lot more scandal than it had, but her friends were more concerned with supporting her with her loss. Except Sora. Perhaps it was because she'd apparently being crushing on the vocalist, but the tomboy had become quite cold towards her. She'd apologised stiffly for her loss and reluctantly told her she'd be there if she was needed. While the blonde hadn't known how to act once the truth came out, everyone else had acted as they usually did, leading her to behave as close to normal as she usually did too. Sora's reaction had pushed her right off course and had made her feel awkward and uncomfortable - much like she'd felt at her father's funeral.

He'd already had everything planned and paid for, which she was thankful for. The teen had stubbornly told her mother she'd take care of everything personally; she knew she'd been snappy and rude, but he was  _her_  father, and her mother had left them - she didn't have a right to do anything. The event itself was simple; the family was there as well as his parents and family along with some coworkers and drinking buddies (who were essentially the same anyway). Tai had shown up as support for her and Hikari had held Takeru's hand throughout the service.

It had been a nice day and she hated it all the more for it. If it had been raining, she could have pushed the date back and not had to deal with it so soon. If it had been raining, she could have cried discreetly, rather than have Taichi pull her into his chest, rubbing his hand up and down her back as she sobbed. The sun shining bright and warm made it a million times worse. It seemed fake - how could everything look normal and happy while her father was being lowered slowly into the earth? How could Odaiba be so warm and welcoming when her apartment was becoming colder and dustier without anyone living in it?

It was after that day she shut herself up in her room, refusing to come out until the girl finally had to return to school. Today, the day she returned to her studies, was the same as that day. The sun was out and it was vainly shining overhead, as though it was trying to repel the oncoming winter. The weather was perfect, people were happy and things looked as they always had. And it felt just as fake.

Her uniform was too crisp and the skirt too short. Her shoes were new and they squeaked whenever she walked. Her bag felt heavier and the air felt harder to swallow. The voices in the hall seemed to echo in her head and were louder than they should have been. The stares felt sharper and people (both girls and boys) seemed far more awkward in talking to her.  _Make it stop. Make it go away. Why won't they leave me alone?_

"Hey! Finished your lunch? Can I have the rest?" The rest of the group scolded him, but Yamato smiled and handed her bento over with a laugh.  _Taichi_...

He was her breath of fresh air. The brunette was still her friend, still the same knuckle-headed leader she'd come to respect all those summers 'd said he'd chase the stars for her if that's what she wanted (granted, it had been after he'd sprinted to her house in a storm at one in the morning after seeing the news about her father; Taichi had promptly passed out with a fever, but the thought was still there). It was more difficult for the teen to express herself now. The blonde had never been great with emotions or been very tactful, but after her father died it seemed everything got stuck in her throat.

The real words were locked, trapped perhaps, behind a barrier. Talking to her mother was forced and awkward (the irrational hatred she felt scared her and Yamato didn't want to upset her more than she already had) and talking to classmates were irritating; they could take their gossip elsewhere damn it! But Taichi was different. Everything just felt relaxed, like time had never affected them. It still felt as though they were at summer camp, relaxing and laughing over nothing.

And while she could speak to him without fear or confusion, one thing remained stuck. No matter how much she tried, it refused to be spoken. The words even refused to be written! But Yamato reverently hoped with everything she had that her simple actions could explain those emotions. If they couldn't, how else was Taichi ever supposed to know what he meant to her?


	3. Leaving

"...Are you serious?"  
"...Yeah... I know it's fast and you probably don't want to hear this right now, but I stuffed up, Yamato."

Stuffed up was putting it lightly. It was late at night, a few days after her graduation. She still hadn't decided on university or her band and hadn't managed to find a compromise between the two. Right now, her mother was on a business trip somewhere and Takeru was at Daisuke's.

It was just her and Taichi. They were in her room, on her bed. She was lying on his chest, his arm around her. Moments ago, it had been clingy, like he hadn't wanted to let go. Now it was loose, like it was saying it would be there when she needed comfort. Her hand grasped the sheets in a fist.  _Stuffed up._  She truly was just a mistake, wasn't she? A mistake to her mother and father, a mistake to be given the crest of friendship, a mistake to Taichi...

What had gone wrong? When he'd come over, they'd been fine; she'd felt better than she had in a long time. Taichi had always been magic for her, no matter how lame that sounded. He was stubborn and demanding, but he gave her space and comfort when she needed it too. He was her best friend and up until he had spoken up, they'd been something more.

She didn't speak. Instead, she looked to those stupid glowing stars she still hadn't gotten around to taking off the roof; if she couldn't wish on a real one and ask it to make everything better, perhaps these plastic ones could get her halfway there at least? She ignored him as he called her name.  _Stuffed up._  How does one stuff up like that?  _Oh oops, we just had sex but I actually didn't mean it because I stuffed up._

"...So you don't care about me..?"

"Of course I do!" He sat up and she slid to his side, forced to look up at him now from how she had landed. "Just... Just not like that! I'm sorry." He put his head in his hands and when he spoke again, it sounded like he was trying desperately not to cry. "I know it doesn't make it better, and I know I-I should have known sooner, stopped before I made this mess."

She blinked up at him and felt oddly detached, like it wasn't her best friend telling her it was a mistake they'd just sleep together; like it was a bad soap opera that was far away from her reality. He continued on and now his shoulders were shaking. Her arms felt too heavy to be able to hold him.

"I'm r-really sorry Yamato. You know you're my best... Best friend. I just think it's better." Taichi took in a few deep breaths and looked her in the eye for the first time in the conversation. "I think it's better that we just be friends."

She couldn't answer him. She nodded vaguely in agreement but she could feel she was crying. The room was humid and the tears felt odd against her hot skin. Taichi lay down with her again and held her; not like before, where his embrace had been passionate and strong, but he seemed to be mirroring her now. His hold felt weak and boneless; she likened it to a dog that had just gotten in trouble but was trying to get back in the good books.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! Her and Taichi were supposed to be together! And if it didn't work out, they could be best friends! They'd break it off with a laugh and a smile - "It's all for the best", they'd say. But this... This was wrong. It stung and hurt. She wasn't naive enough to think her delusion wouldn't hurt, but at least in her mind it had been mutual, they'd sorted things out. Here there was nothing. If she didn't know Taichi better, the blonde would have said he'd used her for some quick relief. But Taichi wasn't like that. It took her a while, but eventually, she could feel the brunette's tears on her skin as well.

It took all her strength, but she managed to pull her arms around him. For some reason, despite how he'd hurt her, she couldn't see him like this, couldn't listen to those tear-filled mumbled apologies and "I didn't-t m-mean it, Yama-mato!"'s, couldn't bear the shaking of his bare chest against her own. She tried smiling, but it felt like an irratating and painful pull, like her facial muscles refused to co-operate. But that was okay; she'd pretended to be a boy for years, a few false words were easy enough to spit out.

"Daijoubu, Taichi. It doesn't matter. Shhhh." Eventually, he fell asleep in her arms, rather than her falling asleep in his, as it should have been. Sitting up, she looked down at him and anger seemed to boil under her pale skin. Not fully recognising what she was doing, the blonde took a shower and packed an over night bag, slinging her guitar over her shoulder as well. With a final kiss to Taichi's lips, Yamato slunk into the hall and locked the apartment door behind her quietly and prayed that the gate wouldn't squeak as it usually did. Luck was on her side apparently.

It wasn't too late, about one in the morning, when she left her apartment block, feet walking to nowhere in particular. Somewhere was always a good destination; you could never be disappointed with where you ended up.  _Somewhere_... She'd always thought she'd find her somewhere with Taichi. When where they ever not around each other? From day one they had always been the leaders, Taichi more so of course but she was the one to put him in place when he needed it.

The thought that hurt the most when she walked away was that she had been so close to everything she'd ever wanted, but not been able to say all the words and arguements on her mind... So she did what she always did when she couldn't confront something... She walked away from it all and left it in the past, never to be thought of again.


	4. Country Road

Seven years later, right to the dot. It was even the same time she'd left the house. It felt odd to say that, especially when, sometimes, it felt like just yesterday. Too much had happened between now and then, of course, but occasionally, when she was lying in bed late at night, unable to sleep, she'd just like to pretend that when she would wake up, she'd see the glow in the dark stars on her roof, or hear Takeru being scolded for running late.

To begin with, she liked to think the last conversation she had with Taichi... Well, that whole night really, was a nightmare that had never happened. On her worst days, she liked to think that when she woke up, it would be to his snores and arms draped loosely around her.

She'd stamped those thoughts out long ago.

Not without great difficulty of course. After she'd left, she really had no idea what to do. About an hour on the road and it started pouring, lightning flashing in the distance and thunder crashing sporadically. Wanting to stop, the blonde knew that if she did, she'd want to return to the apartment, using the time between now and morning to convince herself that she could convince Taichi, or something along those lines. Her pride made her feet move until eventually they reached the harbour. There was a morning cruise, leaving at 5:30am, going sightseeing, stopping at different ports throughout the day. Having nothing better to do, when the time came, she brought a ticket and hopped on.

By that night, she'd found a bus, taking her to Fukuoka. She stayed there for a week, enjoying the ocean breeze and vibrant culture of Hakata. Working her way down the coast, she busked for train and bus fares, staying in different places and meeting various people along the way. By the end of the month, she was in Osaka, at Itami Airport, a ticket to America in her hand.

America wasn't a place she was particularly interested in travelling too, but she had her passport and some spare cash, so why not? She also wasn't particularly Japanese looking, so either getting fake papers, or changing her name and details to create a new life wouldn't be an extremely difficult task.

Often, the blonde would think how stupid she was.  _All this over a boy?_  Her mind would make snide comments at her, never letting up while she was trying to sleep, or when boredom set in. But Taichi wasn't just  _a boy_. And this wasn't just about him either. It was her father leaving her, essentially alone. It was trying to find out who she was when people said "she's different now" - was it because she was dressing (and maybe acting?) like a girl now, or was there more to it then that?

It was her mother trying to mother when she'd never been around to do so before. It was Takeru having to deal with his father's death, his sister's new identity and horridly immature school gossip. It was Sora not being her friend anymore. It was her band being awkward around her. It was the Chosen getting in trouble for defending her. It was her not wanting to make decisions that would affect her future.

_It was all just too much._

So to America it was. And it was in America she stayed. She really couldn't wander too much after her arrival. Two weeks in and she started changing her details, slowly getting help in a manner that was both legal and sly, so her family would be none the wiser about her identity change. She got a job at a cafe during the day and a busked at night. Eventually the young woman created a small group of friends - nothing like those of whom she left, but friends nonetheless. Another month after that and someone had noticed her talent. The audition hadn't gone through, but she'd found three more offers that she could apply to. One called her back, but said her next audition wasn't good enough.

Another one gave her two more auditions and wanted her back for one more. It was only a small company, but it was a better start than nothing, right? It wouldn't require her giving up her job at the cafe either, which meant she could still afford rent and food. She had a really good feeling about this audition - everyone in her group had, hell, they'd been so confident that they celebrated her 'obvious success' two days beforehand. On the big day, however, the blonde wasn't feeling too brilliant. Rushing into the doctors beforehand, they took some test samples and sent her on her way with a smile, telling her she was probably ill with a small bug, but they'd contact her anyway.

Feeling much better after hearing those words, naturally she rocked the audition and landed herself a position with the label. Another celebratory night was in order! She'd laughed when Tom had yelled at his boss that he was leaving work early, already half out the door, and slung an arm around her shoulder, other hand in his pocket, digging out his cell phone to call the others.

Of course, what could go wrong? She was the lucky girl who had managed to do everything she planned. She got a new life, a new name, her own place. She could keep her dream and made new friends. Here, in this new place, she felt like she could piece herself together again, slowly but surely. What would happen then would happen without her fighting it. Life was going, not perfectly, but pretty damn well, if she was to say so herself.

So, naturally, she'd burst into tears when the smiling nurse had said she was pregnant.

The woman had tried to convince her that this was a good thing, something to be happy about. Surely her boyfriend would help her out? Wouldn't it be great if he asked her to marry her? She wanted to slap her silly. Perhaps if her and Tai were actually together, she would have agreed, but now...

But perhaps something good could come of this. After all, her label didn't drop her (actually, they gave her a desk job, which was slightly more inconvenient in getting there and the she had to be there earlier, but it was much better for her and allowed her to practice after hours), and while her friends tried to get more information out of her, they weren't too pushy about it (though maybe that was because she had frightened them by bursting into tears when they talked about family...).

It hadn't been easy, but that was life, wasn't it? She could have gone any time she wanted to. She wouldn't have been in so much financial worry had she not left in the first place. She could have aborted, or gone out with Harry the numerous times he'd asked her (on their first meeting, he reminded her far too much of Takeru to ever do that). But she'd made her choices, and while she might not have been one hundred percent happy with the ones she had made, she had stuck by them and here she was today.

A highly successful singer and sought after bachelorette. A fancy apartment over looking the bay, a sports car and adorable twins. Hiro and Aki weren't exactly the most original names, but nothing else had come to her. She was sure her mother would be annoyed, but there was nothing she could do about that now. (The young woman certainly wasn't planning to have any more children any time soon either!)

Yet some things didn't change. She was still with the same small record company and still had the same group of friends. The blonde still played the same guitar and kept her digivice by her bed as habit. Every Sunday she'd make blueberry pancakes, like she'd always done because Sunday was when Takeru would visit. It made her sparkling apartment smell like her old one back in Odaiba...

Occasionally she wondered if her mother had sold it, or if it had been transferred into her name. She wondered if someone else was living in it (and if they were treating the old walls properly) or if it was being left to collect dust. She wondered where her brother had ended up. He had been keen on basketball when she'd left, but that was such a long time ago now... What about the other Chosen? Had Jyou become a doctor yet? She wondered if Taichi had gone further with soccer or followed a more mundane path.

But mostly, she wondered if they forgave her. If her mother still cried over her disappearance. If she had ever cried (surely she had, right?). If they had tried to look for her, how far they succeeded in tracking her. Had they stopped looking? Had they blamed themselves, or had they understood why she'd run? How had Taichi felt? Did the guilt eat at him daily, like it had for her for months on end? Had Takeru and Hikari ever gotten together, and had the truth about what Taichi did come out? That would have certainly rocked the boat a bit.

The young woman wondered what would happen if she went back. Would they laugh and accept her? Probably not. There'd be yelling and crying and bone-breaking hugs all at once. There'd be a lot to explain. Would it make sense to them? Sometimes it still sounded stupid to her... Nonetheless, there were days when she wanted to do nothing more than pack up, grab the kids and head off home. America had never been home - it had been a respite, a place to re-coop and rebuild, which is what she had done.

Thinking on where we've come from, where we've been, the blonde wondered if her small family was happy here. At six, obviously they hadn't known anywhere apart from the small apartment they'd first lived in before she became successful two years ago and this modern apartment. They travelled to nearby states for holidays occasionally, but only for a few days. Would it be fair to move them? It wouldn't be fair to leave her friends either - they had done so much for her, even at the beginning when she was just a busker living on the street. Tom had got her an apartment and a proper job and Chelsea had been there when she went into labour. They'd never spilled a secret to the papparazzi and were the best medicine she could have been given upon arriving in the US. Plus, what if she wasn't accepted back home, what if she couldn't settle down, what if she got the travel bug? Should they keep moving? Could she do that? Moving was an effort and a half - of course, she could always pay people to do it for her, but packing and finding old things was half the fun (stubbing your toes on various boxes... Not so much...).

There were just too many possibilities. How were people supposed to know what to do? She wasn't exactly well known for making the best decisions. She really had no idea... No idea at all...

It wasn't long after that, on a camping trip with everyone, was when she was writing a song, like she did often enough, and again, it seemed as the words poured out of her. By following the road, it would lead her to the town she wanted to go to, her home town. But she had decided that she wouldn't be weak, wouldn't cry, wouldn't be lonely - she'd be strong and keep walking away from that place. By coming to America, she had set herself free, trying to get rid of the pain that had plagued her at the time. It had taken a long time, but she had succeeded in the end. The road ahead, the one she thought she should take, would take her home, but right now, she couldn't. Right now wasn't the right time. When the time was right, she would go, but for now, it would have to stay a wish.

It was with a somewhat bitter smile as Ishida Yamato (now Zoe Smith) underlined the title of the song  _Country Road_  before placing it neatly into her folder, shutting it tightly and sealing her decision with a firm  _snap!_  And that was all there was to it.

 _For now at least_.


	5. Beginning

It was mid-December when the snow started to fall. There wasn’t enough to have snow ball fights or even make snow angels, like when they had lived in America. It melted pretty quickly, leaving a dirty slush that displeased her children, but the Christmas atmosphere kept them cheerful. Carols played throughout the stores and a giant tree stood in the middle of the train station. For a treat, she took them out to eat - Japan was one of the best places in the world for interesting foods, especially so for seasonal holidays - Totoro cakes with Santa hats, cookies as trees, sleigh chocolates and far more. Needless to say, they all had gone home with bellies that were far too full. (Despite all the fun foods, there was no way she’d go back to having KFC for dinner - a proper American feast is what she’d make, just as she had every other year). 

But then it was two days before Christmas and her children were sleeping, not stirring at all. The house was quiet as she sat at the table, the moon being her only light and the mug filled with coffee keeping her palms warm. It had been almost four months since she’d returned to Japan. She’d sent Takeru his birthday card, but hadn’t heard anything in return. Despite the fact she’d only left a suburb (and it wasn’t exactly a small one either), Yamato had thought that someone would have been able to find her. Perhaps they didn’t want to. 

The thought made her clutch her mug tighter, a slight frown on her face. She hoped that wasn’t the case. She’d returned to fix the mistakes she’d made and to remake her path. It’d be upsetting to have the newly reformed Wolves as her only friends. And what of her children? She’d taken them away from everything they’d known, for what? Perhaps she was just being dramatic (like that was anything new) or wanting things to happen unrealistically quickly but it was a bit terrifying being alone like this - she’d had her time with that, she didn’t want to go through it again.

Of course, if she wanted, she could go to her mother, her brother, her friends, sort everything out tomorrow. It was all easier said than done, wasn’t it? She could probably get alone well with everyone else, after explaining things. They’d be annoyed and confused and all, but once things calmed down, things would probably go back to being relatively normal. But she couldn’t do that with Taichi. 

He’d be feeling guilty about when they last saw each other, even though they’d supposedly been best friends. On top of that, she was going to rock up and go “meet your kids” and expect him to believe it? Or would it be better to keep them hidden from him until she worked things out with him first? But that would mean keeping them a secret from everyone and she didn’t want to do that - it wasn’t fair to her, to her family, or her kids. But how far had he moved on? What if he had a girlfriend, fiancee or wife? This wasn’t fair to any partner he had now.

As for herself, she wasn’t sure how she felt about him. She certainly didn’t love him anymore. Apart from how he’d hurt her (and she’d overreacted), Yamato didn’t think they’d be able to get back together and make it work. It was better if they were just friends - they worked better together when they weren’t with each other 24/7. There was no reason her children couldn’t grow up happily with them not being together - as long as they were civil towards each other and loved the kids, what did their relationship status matter?

Yamato sighed, sipping her coffee. Perhaps it was time to make the ball start rolling herself.

. .  

“So you’re telling me you lied?”

Taichi shuffled his feet, nodding sheepishly. He was an adult now, but that didn’t make him feel any less like a kid now, standing in Natsuko’s kitchen. The woman sighed, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear before sipping her tea again. The deafening silence of the kitchen was killing him. If she would just kick him out or yell or _something_! 

Yet time ticked by and the woman stayed silent. Perhaps she was waiting for him to say something more? But what else could he say? When Yamato first went missing, he’d made up some bullshit lie, saying that the two of them had gone out for a movie and he’d stayed overnight - when he woke up, he saw her bedroom door was still shut, so thought she was asleep and didn’t wake her, leaving without saying anything. It was only now that he was telling the truth.

“Why?"  
“Why did I lie or why am I just admitting the truth now?”  
“Both, I suppose.”

“Guilt, I guess. Yamato is in Japan now - if she were to turn up, she could tell the truth, ruining my character, which she’s allowed to do. Apart from that, if I want to keep saying I’m an adult, I need to act like it, even if it means owning up to things that I did years ago, or if it means I get embarrassed or people get angry with me.” He paused for a moment, trying to put his next reason into words. Natsuko beat him to it.

“Because you think her leaving was your fault and you don’t know how to explain that guilt to me after watching Takeru and I suffering over the years.” 

“Um..  Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.”

Smiling, Natsuko stood and placed her mug into the sink. “It’s alright, Taichi. I wish you had been honest earlier, but you’re only human.” The tap turned on and she started to wash the few dishes slowly. He wished she’d look at him so he could see if she was bullshitting or not.  

“But I don’t want you thinking she left just because of you. Yamato isn’t petty or that fragile. But she was obviously a lot more fragile than any of us thought, to leave like that.” Finally, she looked at him properly. “We’ll sort things out. Things will turn out fine, so don’t feel too bad, alright?”

Smiling he left. Words were cheap; as he’d gotten older, he’d learnt not to put too much stock in them. Rather, he believed in people’s actions. Just then, Natsuko had smiled, properly smiled, her face scrunching up and her eyes lighting up, for the first time in years. That one gesture had lifted the massive weight from his gut, enabling him to do the same. Perhaps there was hope after all.

. .

They sat in silence, heading out to Odaiba’s outskirts. Christmas and New Year had come and gone, people returning to their normal schedules. Mid-morning on a Friday, the trains weren’t too badly packed, which was good; Takeru didn’t think he’d be able to handle having a swarm of people surrounding him when he was so tightly strung up. 

Trying to find Yamato had been exhausting. When they were about to give up and call everything off as some hoax (Takeru was personally about to add ‘plan revenge’ to his to do list) he received another letter with her address and phone number. She refused to accept calls, which was odd, but she was responding to messages and had patiently answered all the crazy questions he’d asked. 

From the station, they took a bus into the heart of a quaint looking suburb. There were actual houses here, so he wondered vaguely how much money his sister had come into. He also wondered why she hadn’t chosen to live in the city - he remembered how much she hated travelling unnecessarily, so why live so far out? They finally reached the address they’d been given - his mother was nervous, a stern frown on her face. They hadn’t told Yamato when they were coming, so she might not be home. But what if she was? Was she able to talk or was she busy? 

He didn’t have time to think further as his mother rapped the door, three times, clearly and loudly. For a moment, all he could hear was his heart beating heavily and his throat felt dry. A moment later and he heard shuffling, then a door unlocking (his mother tightened her hands and he tried to smile at her - though he figured the grimace he managed was more honest) and then the door opened.

There was silence again. Yamato looked stunned but tried to compose herself, looking over the two of them as they did the same to her. She hadn’t gotten much taller, so they were almost the same height. Her outfit was simple, meant for a casual day at home. Her hair had gotten a lot longer - if it were down, it’d probably come to just below the bottom of her shoulder blades. She’d grown up and matured, but Takeru could still see his Yamato, his sister, in the woman in front of him. 

“We’re sorry for just showing up like this, its just-“ His mother broke the silence, nerves getting the best of her. Yamato was the same, drowning out her words before she had time to finish.

“No, no, not at all. Here, come in.” She opened the door wider, scooting back so they could come in. As they were shuffling their shoes off, she mumbled, “I’ll just go put some tea on then.” Darting away, she left them to share a nervous glance at each other. 

Quietly, Natsuko whispered. “This was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?”

“I’m sure it was. We’re all just nervous. Its been a while, is all.” He hoped that his equally quiet tone hid his doubts. 

Sitting at the table, they made small talk and drank tea. They spoke of the weather and how she was settling into her new home. They spoke of Christmas and New Years and made wild guesses on when the cherry blossoms would start to bloom. They filled her in on what they’d done - he’d graduated, Natsuko had been promoted, small talk on their friends, how everyone had looked for her, how they’d kept her old apartment, how distraught they’d been… But no matter the topic, Yamato only gave half answers and her eyes darted everywhere like a startled rabbit.  

As the clock struck twelve, their mother snapped. “Do you want to sort things out or not? We’ve had no idea whats happened to you for the few years and we’ve been feeling guilty and worried ever since. You’re the one who decided to come back and talk to us. Are you thinking what a mistake that was? Should we leave? Or will you get your act together and explain what they hell you’ve done with yourself since you left?” 

“Mum… Thats a bit harsh.”

“No, Takeru, she’s right.” A determined look from his sister shut his mother up. “I did leave and I did come back into your lives, causing you more worry and stress. You’ve been patient with me, talking about nonsense and filling me in - its time I do the same.”

She sighed and poured herself some more tea. “Its a bit of a long story, but I’ll try and keep it as short as I can. It was just after graduation, after all, so theres a lot to catch up on. I guess… I guess I’ll start when dad died. That was really the trigger I suppose.” 

Blowing on her tea, she took a gulp, wincing at the still too hot liquid. Placing the delicate cup down, she began to tell her story. 


	6. Moving Forward

"I don't need to explain about dad. You know all that. However, he left me alone, which left me wide open to all types of problems."  
"You had us."  
"Living with you guys wasn't home. I'm sorry, but it just wasn't. I was used to being alone in the apartment, dad coming in and out as he felt like it. Living with you was too structured. You were both concerned about me, which I'm very grateful for, but it was smothering. I needed more freedom than that."  
"Then you should have said so."  
"I could live with the smothering. It was annoying, but the good type of annoying. After all, I could always go back to the apartment or go to university and live on campus or something - I didn't need to keep living with you forever. School added to my problems. Rumours ran around like crazy. But I could deal with that too. It was a bit stressful, and I had to stop myself from beating some people up, because of how rude they were being about dad, but I could handle it."  
"Really?"  
"Would you stop interrupting me and let me finish? And yes, mother, really - I wouldn't be spilling my guts if I hadn't figured everything out."  
Takeru smiled.  _Definitely Yamato._ His mother frowned a bit, clearly annoyed, as his sister took another sip of her drink.

"I'm not bullet proof. Those things took their toll, but like I said, I'd be graduating soon - I could leave you and school and those problems would be gone. However, I couldn't just ditch my friends. Everyone was awkward around me. No wonder, of course; I'd been a guy ever since they'd known me but suddenly I was a girl with a dead dad who did some stupid shit? Not exactly easy to swallow."  
Takeru chuckled a bit. Those days had kinda sucked, but he had it a lot easier than Yamato. Even back then, he was glad she was there. He knew it was selfish, but it took the spotlight off him. It kept people from harassing him and he knew it was bad, but he was glad they'd picked on her.  
"By graduation, everything was mostly back to normal. The Wolves and I had stopped performing to study for exams even before dad died, but we were figuring things out. We had an offer for a record deal; we could have become more popular and even made our dreams." She looked away wistfully before shrugging and getting back to her story.

"Sora, however, couldn't seem to forgive me. Apparently she'd been crushing on me, but I would have thought that as friendship and love, we could have figured something out. She was more intent on ignoring me; I can't blame her, but it stung, after everything we'd been through. Honestly, we've been through far more dangerous and shocking things, so I was pretty angry at her too. Taichi topped everything off."  
"Taichi? What'd he do?" Genuinely confused, Takeru looked to his sister who was looking at their mother.  
"He told you, didn't he?"  
Natsuko sighed, placing her cup back down. "Not the full thing, no. But I pieced it together myself."  
"Well? What happened?" When his sister blushed and stuttered, refusing to look him in the eyes, he figured he  _really_ didn't want to know. "On second thought, I think I get it." He pulled a face and both women laughed.

"Well, it didn't go quite as planned, obviously. That stung. That  _really_  stung. We compliment each other a lot. We balance each other. We were best friends, always together. We've been through a lot. Hell, we got shot with arrows from angels made of data to save the world before we were even teenagers! I'm not a fool. I don't rush into things. I prepared to get hurt. But I didn't prepare for it to be so quick, for my heart to be crushed like that. Perhaps that was naive of me."  
"Love isn't naive dear."  
Yamato attempted a smile but it didn't quite make it. "I snuck out that night. I wrote a note, saying I'd gone for a walk; thats what I used to do with dad, if I ever needed some space. I used to always go hang out at the band's practice area; I'd always return, so there was no need to worry. I guess I was so used to doing it, I never thought about explaining it to you guys. I never though there was a need to.I honestly wasn't planning to run away, not for that long at least. Maybe a day or two, a week at absolute most. But it was refreshing, almost freeing in a way. I could go where I wanted, when I wanted. I could do as I pleased, nobody asked questions, nobody could judge me. I guess somewhere along the line I just forgot I was supposed to return. No, that isn't it. I guess, when I kept walking and travelling, enjoying myself, I refused to figure out why I was so angry and distraught. I refused to deal with my problems. Whats new, right?" Takeru and Natsuko both snorted, Natsuko rolling her eyes as Yamato smirked.

"So I kept moving. Eventually I had no choice but to think about what made me leave. See, the thing is… Uh, well, don't react too badly, okay?"  
"Yamato-"  
"See I was pregnant." Takeru winced and Yamato started to speak quicker before slowly drifting out. "We weren't irresponsible, I swear! Like we were safe and all, but… well, contraception isn't fool proof."  
Instead of being stern, this time his mother was softer, sighing. "Yamato…"  
The three of them sat in silence. This certainly wasn't what he'd been expecting. His sister was always the one to think ahead, always had a solution - and she had, but her plans hadn't worked out this time.  
"Why didn't you come home dear? We could of helped."  
Yamato hadn't looked up from studying the table. "I'd started to make friends in America."  
"America? Why there?"  
That got a small smile out of his sister. "Because I don't look purely Japanese." Well that made sense.

"I got a job at a music label. I was able to use their facilities to practice whenever I wanted. They said they'd think about me becoming a singer on their label, but until then, I was allowed to work in admin, so that was something. My friends looked after me and there was a guy, Harry…. I think, maybe, if I'd been a bit less stubborn, a bit less busy, a bit more open, we could have been really happy together…" She gripped her necklace, pulling it out from under her shirt to show them the ring. "He'd been planning to give me this…" She stared at it, clearly pained while mother and son looked at each other. Obviously, this wound, unlike the rest, was still open and raw. It wasn't the time to ask pressing questions.

"Is that what made you come back?" Natsuko pressed gently, not wanting to upset her daughter. After all, she too knew the pain of losing a loved one - just because her and Hiroaki had split didn't mean she didn't care for him any less.  
Blinking, Yamato realised there was still other people around. Slipping the necklace away, the blonde continued her story. "I eventually became a singer with my label. Their star singer, in fact. I still am; they're happy to let me work in Japan and I've set everything up with the Wolves, so we'll be back in business soon." Takeru smiled at the pride he could hear in her voice. At least she'd been happy, for the most part anyway. Yamato still had her dream and passion, so Takeru was happy for her.  
"But to answer the question, I came home because of my children. I realised, when Harry.. When he left.. There was a lot of open ends, a lot of things that should have been said and done. There was no chance to go back and fix that. But here, I can fix things. I can be honest with everyone. It won't fix things, but at least I can settle things and hopefully find a bit more peace."  
"And what are you going to do about Taichi?"  
Yamato shifted in her seat and sighed. "He deserves to know about his children-"  
"Woah, children? I thought-"  
"Takeru, stop interrupting. Yes children. Are you deaf?" Oops, someone was getting snippy.  
"As I was saying," Yamato glared at the younger blonde while he smiled sheepishly, "Taichi deserves to know. I wish I could see everyone without telling them, until things got better, but thats more secret keeping. That isn't fair on my friends, my children or myself. There isn't going to be an easy way to do it, so I just have to do it."

"Your father would be proud of you." Yamato sat, stunned, before she started to cry. First, silently, still shocked, digesting the words. Then, she was sniffling quietly before she ended up bawling, Natsuko moving to go sit next to her, rubbing her back.

It was odd. They'd been there for hours, filling each other in on their lives, but it had only taken six words for Yamato to break, six words to have them all sitting on the one side of the table, feeling at home with each other again.

. .

He loved his sister, really, he did, but she was just so  _stubborn_! Honestly, it was ridiculous. From when he and his mother had first gone to meet her, they'd kept in close contact. So far, nobody else knew she was back. But he wanted to change that. Yamato kept saying she was 'busy' or 'tired' or 'not ready'. All she had to do was say she was scared, he certainly wasn't going to judge her. But regardless of what she felt, she needed to see everyone again. Her life was missing a large chunk and she needed to get it back to completely start again.

Takeru may or may not have played Taichi and the kids as his guilt card. She had caved to that, reiterating her speech from their first meeting. She was far from happy and was more than slightly annoyed he'd stoop to that to get her to agree, but she agreed nonetheless.

Speaking of the kids… He smiled, watching them run around the playground, laughing and screeching. He was on baby sitting duty while Yamato practiced with the Wolves; hopefully they'd be able to release a single in the next few months. With enough promotion it would do well; Yamato's agency back in America was keeping true to their word and helping with costs and other technical things.

Hiro and Aki were really good kids. You could see Yamato's influence in how they were neat and relatively quiet for the most part. They enjoyed clothes shopping and didn't mind her working crazy hours, understanding she couldn't always be there to tuck them in at night or make them breakfast in the morning, but happy that someone else would spoil them anyway. The Taichi in them was less obvious. You could see his athleticism in Hiro and his bullheaded attitude when Aki would argue something or when the dainty girl would inhale food at ridiculous speeds.

When his schedule allowed it, Takeru was more than happy to spoil his niece and nephew. It had taken them a while to warm up to him; when Yamato first left them alone with him, he took them on a walk and Hiro scampered up a tree and refused to come down for a good hour. But eventually he won them over with humour and gifts (small trinkets made eyes glow and gave them the desire for more, and really, what kid was going to turn down dinosaur shaped chocolates and gundams?).

Yamato had agreed to lend him her laptop for the day, giving him a simple task. She'd said, "If you want me to meet with everyone, you can organise it." She'd shoved her planner at him and flounced out with a smirk. He'd wondered why until he actually looked at it. Appointments to get her license, video conferences with her record label, band practice, gym sessions, events the kids had at school, any after school things the kids had, time for herself, time with the kids… Were all mother's schedules like this? He'd gulped and set himself to the task, squaring his shoulders.

Eventually, he found a day that would work. It was only the beginning of March, and if he was going to plan for mid-April, that would give everyone time to sort out their schedules, right? Long fingers typed quickly on the keyboard, back spacing and pausing as he figured out how to word the invite properly. If he had been writing as himself, he wouldn't have had a problem, but he was writing from Yamato's email address, as her… Scratch that, he was writing from Yamato's address as himself. He was already seeing stars from how complicated her planner was!

He kept it simple.  _Yamato is back. This is her email address, but don't you dare harass her. We're having a party at her place, April 15th. Text me for the address. Takeru._

With a sigh, he sent the message off.  _Now to just wait it out and hope for the best._ Taking the brats home, he got them to help him make a count down calendar. And wrote in Yamato's planner and the three calendars in the house. And wrote it on the white board on the fridge as well as sticky taping a note to her bedside table.  _Just in case, sis. The count down to April 15_ _th_ _begins!_

He was almost asleep back at his own place when he received her message. A bored emoticon followed by one word:  _Joy._ He snorted. It wasn't that he'd forgotten her, more like he'd forgotten all the little things that made her her.  _Definitely my Yamato._


	7. Conversations

In some ways, she felt as though she'd never left Japan. She didn't talk to her mother any more often than she had previously and as kids in their last year of high school, its not like she had been able to catch up with the other Chosen back then and for obvious reasons, she wasn't doing so now. Even with the Wolves, things were normal. They sniped at each other in friendly ways and they'd gotten over her being a girl so dirty jokes were back on the table. They practiced two to three times a week (more if their jobs didn't interfere and she could con her relatives into babysitting) and she honestly felt that they were better than they'd previously been.

"Hey. Do you think we'll make it this time?"  
"We're better than we used to be."  
"And? Every other band that was on the market back then is too, not to mention all the new ones that have sprung up since then."  
"Yeah, well…. People like comebacks, right?"  
"Oh a crappy teenage band? Pfft."  
"Hey, we weren't crap!"

Sighing, she watched Yutaka and Akira bicker. Yutaka had a point though. She'd failed the group before, leaving them in the lurch and screwing them all over. Yes, they were better than ever but its not like any rival groups had been lazing around either. And what about her? She'd made her own name in America, she'd become successful, recognised and sought after. Was leaving her solo status and becoming a member of a group a smart thing to do? The young woman wasn't a spender, so she had enough money to live off comfortably for a good while, but music was her passion and she didn't want to go backwards. Not only would it be embarrassing beyond belief it would also be gut wrenching if people said she'd become bad at one of the major things that made her her.

She blinked. Sitting up a little straighter, Yamato smirked. "What we need is to get our name out there. I'm sure I can get a few people to help, people who still probably enjoy the how we used to be."  
"Please don't say Jun-"  
"Who else would I be thinking of?"

The three men groaned, looking at each other with exasperation. Ignoring them, she continued. "But that isn't enough. That will only gain local interest."  
"Thats a start though, right?"  
"If you've got something worse than Jun up your sleeve I don't think I want to know about it."

The woman rolled her eyes. "What could possibly be worse than Jun?" She looked at them, clearly expecting an answer. Eventually, Yukata spoke up. "I really hope you aren't talking about yourself."

Akira groaned again as she smirked. "Bingo."

. .

Okay, she had an idea but not much else. The key to getting maximum publicity was her. Not only was she Zoe Smith, fabulous, talented and famous, she was also Ishida Yamato, missing person, daughter of a guy who had an interesting death and Odaiba's former number one hottie (though she was still more than happy to believe the title still applied to her). People loved scandals and gossip. If you gave them an inch, they'd run a mile. All she needed to figure out was the best way to publicise it and then take that idea to her company and get them to approve it (she missed the days when she was in charge of everything, but you can't be the boss forever, right?).

The best way for her would be to reveal as little as possible and let people figure out the dots themselves. Yamato didn't want to do tonnes of interviews or tv appearances - not only where they not her thing, but it wouldn't be fair to dump her kids with her family all the time and it wouldn't be fair to them if she dragged them around with her 24/7 either. Speaking of kids, it was probably best to wait for the school holidays to announce anything. If the bombshell was dropped just before the holidays, by the time school came around again, most people would be over it. Nodding to herself, she got a cup of tea. Another bonus to that was that she'd meet everyone before then too. Yes, they already knew she was back but there was a good chance some of them would be harassed by the press. At least if she saw them first, she could tell them not to mention a few things and mention others.

Perhaps it was a selfish way of thinking, but she wasn't alone anymore. This wasn't America. This time around, she had to think of everyone else and not only make things right, but make things even better than they were, and even better than everyone else was. This time, she couldn't give up, she wouldn't. This time, there would be no failures.

. .

"But thats dumb."  
"Thats how it is."  
"But why?"  
"I don't know, it just is."  
"I'm not doing it."  
"Yes you are."  
"No!"  
"Hiro, you will practice your kanji!"  
"NO!" With a shout he ran off, throwing his pencil across the room. She groaned as Aki closed her book with a somewhat smug smile.

"おわりました。ママ、テレビを見てもいいですか？"  
"いい子、秋ちゃん。もちろんだ。"

Smiling properly now, her daughter bounced after her brother. Sighing, Yamato followed. At least one of her kids was attempting to study properly. Aki had casual speech down, but her teacher's had requested she practice polite form more often. Thankfully, despite her bullheaded attitude, the young girl could understand studying wasn't hard (though she certainly whined about how boring it was) and she wasn't being criticised. She could see that it would be useful for her to learn the skill and if she behaved and showed improvement, she was more likely to get a cookie.

Hiro, on the other hand…. She wouldn't admit it to him but Yamato honestly agreed, studying kanji was a bit dumb. Most places had furigana to go with kanji and most phones had kanji search functions and if you typed on the computer, as long as you knew what you were looking for, you were fine. How often did people actually write nowadays anyway? Yamato could see his point, but maybe it was because she was a mother or maybe it was because she still wrote a lot by hand, she didn't really care.

"Hiro! Come back and study this instant! You don't want to be grounded again, do you?" She honestly didn't want to pull out the grounding card so quickly but she was so not in the mood for chasing him around and berating him and then getting him to do as he was told, not when she still had dinner to make, lunches for tomorrow to make, paper work to fill out and a few email-based interviews to send back to some American magazines. Hiro raced back to the study so fast he almost knocked a vase over. "Careful!" She muttered a bit before going in to help him.

Regardless of whether it was stupid or not, it was half of who he was and the it was language of the country he lived in. Like hell she was going to let people call her a bad mother because he didn't want to memorise a bunch of squiggles!

. .

Hours later, her lounge room was filled with squeals and "you've gotten so big!". It wasn't the same as being able to be with them, but skype was certainly better than a mere phone call. For the first part of the conversation, she stayed quiet, only adding in bits and pieces as Hiro and Aki filled in their 'aunts and uncles' about Japan, their house, the pet goldfish, the dog down the road, the trains, the food, and everything else that had excited them since they had relocated.

Eventually, it was bed time and Yamato shuffled the yawning twins (who were vehemently arguing they were not tired) to brush their teeth and put them into bed after a quick story. When the woman finally plonked herself down in front of the laptop, her friends laughed.

"Having a rough time little lady?"  
"Feel free to come back anytime!"  
"I hope you've got a boyfriend lined up for me when I visit!"

Yamato smiled. She'd missed this. She really had. Just chatting and laughing, no worrying, no judgement… But again, she'd made her choice. Hopefully, if the reunion went well, she could have similar friendships closer to home.

"It hasn't been too bad. A bit of a struggling, but I put my old band together again."  
"You sound exhausted."  
"Just a bit nervous. Takeru-"

"Kid brother, right?"  
"Don't interrupt!"

Laughing a little, Yamato continued. "Yeah, kid brother. He kinda bullied me into having a reunion with everyone and its coming up soon. First time the kids are gonna meet their dad."

Despite the time difference, they spoke for another two hours. It was honestly the best conversation she'd had since she left America. She didn't have to keep filling people in so they'd understand and she was able to speak in proper English. Speaking with Hiro and Aki was okay, but you couldn't expect young children to have in-depth conversations and that was something she'd needed. Saying their goodbyes, the chat disconnected. Packing everything up, it wasn't until she crawled between the sheets that Yamato realised she was crying. Patting them away with the back of her wrist, she sniffled. What I'd give to have them with me when I see everyone again…

. .

"How are you feeling?"  
"Fine?" Is this a trick question..?  
"Yamato coming back… are you sure you're alright?"

Takeru beamed in response. "Honestly, I was really furious when I got that card and when I met her again. And I'm still angry. But she did what she thought she had to do. She screwed us all around, but it hurt her as much as it hurt us. I'm honestly just glad she's back now."

"So you're sorting things out with her?"  
"Mm, I see her at least once every week or two and message her more often. Mum makes sure to call often too."  
Hikari smiled. "Good. I just wanted to make sure."  
"Pfft, you know I could never lie to you!" Laughing, they continued their lunch with a happy atmosphere.

Of course, he wasn't lying, but he wasn't exactly being honest either, was he? But it also wasn't his business to go blurting out that Yamato had kids. He'd been thinking about that too; it would be a bit awkward for Taichi to just rock up with everyone and boom! "You've got kids!" He'd probably be furious… When Hikari went to the bathroom, he messaged Yamato about it.

Finishing the last of their coffee, he got a response. Its fine, the kids are at school. We'll have an adult reunion first and I'll drag him to the side and tell him before they come home.

He didn't think that was the best way to go about it (he'd certainly want a bit more warning) but he didn't want to keep interfering. Takeru had pushed and prodded enough as it was.

"Yamato?"  
Dazed, he looked at her and gave an intelligent "huh?" as a response. Hikari laughed, repeating the question. "Yeah, just talking about the reunion."

"I'm looking forward to seeing her again. Mimi is too."  
"And Sora?"

Hikari looked off to the side. "Honestly? I have no clue. I think Tai wants to see her, but I know a large part of it is because he feels guilty in his part in how everything played out. I hope he wants to see her for real."

"I'm sure he does. But, he told you the truth then?"  
"Yeah. Mum didn't speak to him for a week and dad was furious, talking about how those types of things aren't the ones you should be screwing up on."

He walked her to the train station, trying to keep up appearances, but he was more worried than ever. As soon as Hikari was out of his sight, he left. Running his hands through his hair, he tugged a bit. Maybe… Would it hurt to ask people what they thought of the reunion? Of Yamato coming back? Certainly they'd just think he was still figuring out things for himself rather than that he was hiding something? Right.

As life went on, they had to move on too. It wasn't just lazy days and barely studying, it was the real world. Play hard or go home. Takeru wished he could have spoken to everyone face to face, but it had been hard enough sorting the reunion out with a month in advance, so trying to get people to meet him for a quick chat in the week that remained just wasn't going to happen.

Miyako was the first to reply. No surprise there, she probably sleeps with her phone in her hand. Checking the message, he smiled. What are you worrying for? I'm not going to travel that far out of my way to yell at someone! Course I'm glad she's back! Oi, if you talk to her before Saturday, tell her if she needs anyone to mix her music, I'm her girl! Though this time I'm charging! 3

Koushirou was next. While not as emotive, he basically said the same thing. Jou's messaged was brief as well. I'm the quiet awkward one. Yamato was always the one I could relate to, the one who would stand up for me. I'd like to have that friendship back again. Takeru grinned, forwarding the message on to Yamato.

Daisuke responded in a rush, much like Miyako, though his was far harder to decipher (as in, it took him about an hour to figure the damn thing out). Iori didn't respond at all, but they lived in the same apartment block so he came up after dinner and spoke to him, saying that while he was annoyed on the behalf of everyone who had been left behind, he would attempt to understand her. He'd never had a huge amount to deal with Yamato, so Takeru thought it was nice he was giving her a chance.

He'd bumped into Ken the next day when he was on his daily jog. "Of course I'd like to see Yamato again. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things. Sometimes it isn't the way others want them to do so, but the important thing is that she's figured things out. And its not like leaving wouldn't have hurt her too. Do I need to bring anything along, food or drinks?" Takeru couldn't have been more relieved at the casual and warm tone Ken used. So far so good. Saturday will be a success, I know it!

Mimi had called and screeched in his ear. "Why would you think I wouldn't want to see her? Are you dumb or something? Honestly Takeru, I swear the two of you can't see anything two feet in front of her! Tell me about her! What hair style does she have? Does she paint her nails? I'm gonna have to take her on a girly date!"

But as Saturday drew closer and he sent out a reminded message of everyone's address, there was still no reply from Sora or Taichi. Every time his phone went off, his stomach would drop. Was it them? Where they finally answering? Good news or bad?

But there was nothing. And every time he flung the device away from him, frustrated and anxious, the weight in his gut got heavier. It almost felt poisonous and it was hard to think of anything else. Taichi was part of the reason she left, so them meeting was going to be awkward even without adding Hiro and Aki in. He didn't quite know what to think about Sora. He'd never really known she'd been crushing on Yamato, and back then, when she'd found out the truth, she'd been awkward and maybe, stubbornly offended? He wasn't quite sure, but surely, she was over that now, right? They could laugh it off and everyone could be friends again? After all, they were adults now…

Friday morning and his phone buzzed. It flashed with a photo of Taichi and Sora (he shouldn't have put their identification pictures as the same one - it was always hard to figure out who he was talking to when they were messaging!). We're coming. Sora and Taichi. Even though he'd gotten his answer (from Taichi's cell) but honestly, with that answer, he was thinking that he'd rather not known at all.


	8. Family

_Well, today is the day. No running away, no calling in sick. Time to get back in the game and take responsibility and sort things out as they should have already been._ Yamato was had been awake before five and hadn't fallen asleep until after midnight. But she had interviews to respond to, songs to write and practice, children to feed and prepare for. That was life. After waking up, she got ready before getting the twins ready for school. Yamato walked them to school. It wasn't something she did everyday (though she wished she could) but today, she had nothing planned for a while, so the fresh air peace would do her good.

On the way home, the blonde stopped in at a conbini, getting some last minute snacks and ingredients for the reunion. Even then, by the time she got home, it was only just after nine. She sighed and glared at the clock, as if it was mocking her. She'd cleaned yesterday and had already prepared the majority of the food. By the time she finished preparing everything and had set everything up, it was 10:30am. This time, she couldn't help but shiver.

Back to the bathroom to freshen up. ( _No, her hands were not shaking. The powder brush must be falling apart or something)_  Yamato attempted to sit and watch tv, calmly, casually, but it felt like she had dozens of ants crawling over her. Shaking herself, she attempted to find something to dust, something to keep her amused, but there was nothing. Walking into the backyard, she surveyed her preparations.  _I can't do anything else. I can't change whats been done, but I can change how things go from here._

She heard her phone vibrate inside. She ran to it, feeling guilty as she did so.  _Please say you can't make it! Please!_ It was Takeru.  _We'll be there shortly_. Gulping, she stumbled back to the bathroom and tried to calm herself down. How soon was shortly? Would the butterflies jamming in her stomach calm down by then? She'd just got her palms dry and her breathing under control when the bell rang.

Freezing, she sucked in her stomach, let out of whoosh of hair and marched to the door. Obviously, she wasn't going to pull off natural today, but the others probably weren't going to be able to do that either. Steeling herself, she opened the door (which felt a lot like opening the gates to hell). Takeru was at the front of the group, but Mimi immediately pushed past him and screeched how happy she was to see her. Yamato squeezed her eyes shut in response to the noise, but couldn't help but smile.

While she was wrangling the once again brunette, Takeru took everyone into the lounge.  _It almost feels as though nothing has changed._ Though once she got to the lounge, she found they were missing two of their number. With a worried glance at Takeru (who mouthed 'soon' in response) the blonde sat. And so they sat for a while longer, fidgeting and glancing around. Eventually Jou piped up with an awkward, "So… how's things?"

Takeru snorted out some of his drink from laughing, leading Mimi to shuffle away from him with a good-humouredly disgusted look. Hikari passed him some tissues while Daisuke clutched his stomach. It was odd and perhaps a bit random and childish, but thats what they needed, a bit of normality. She smiled softly. When she'd left, she really only had Taichi, her father and herself on her mind. She forgot she had other friends, forgot how simple things could be.

"Ah, well, I packed up and moved to America."  
"Oh~! Where?"  
"Mimi-"  
"A few different places, but I'll compare stories later. Um, so I became a solo singer."  
"Can I still mix your music?"  
"Could you guys shut up and let her finish?"  
"Pfft, you're just jealous you have nothing to be useful for."  
"Oi!"  
"Now now children." All eyes were on her again. "Thank you. I become popular enough and eventually, I just decided to come home. I'd run away long enough and it was time I grew up and dealt with the mess I made. So… here I am, I guess."

"Did you have a boy over there?"  
" _Mimi_."  
" _What?_  Like, c'mon, we know Yamato. She's the type to take the emotional blow and then pick herself up later. Yes, that later was a lot longer than we usually had to deal with, but she has  _always_ come back to make amends. And really, its been  _years_. We can't stay mad about stuff that happened so long ago. We're adults and need to act like it. And a healthy part of an adult's life is sex so-"  
"I don't need the details of my sister's sex life, so I'm going out back for food."  
"I think I'll join you."

"Oh  _please,_  like we were going to get into details." Yamato nodded before spluttering as Mimi added, "That's for another  
time."  
"No it isn't!"  
"Thats your price for leaving."  
"You just said we needed to move on!"  
"Irrelevant. I'm going to blackmail you to my heart's content~!"

Laughing at Yamato's despair, the group moved outside into the sun. For the next half an hour, they caught up on random things. Jyou had almost finished university and Koushirou was doing something technical that she didn't quite understand, but she was happy for him anyway - he was doing something he loved and was passionate about, so what else mattered? The younger generation were doing fine, starting new studies, keeping up with old hobbies and struggling to adulthood (whatever the hell that actually was). Daisuke had given up on Hikari and Yamato was slightly uncomfortable in the fact she was glad about that. Takeru and Hikari weren't quite together yet and she would be happy as long as they both were (though she really did want them to be together). At the same time, she wondered  _why_ Daisuke had quit - that wasn't his nature and she hoped it just wasn't to make his friends happy. Regardless, that wasn't for today.

Miyako often helped Mimi, who now owned her own clothing store in Shibuya. It was small and the profits weren't huge (she got the feeling Mimi was struggling but was too bullheaded to pull out). Miyako, of course, was the technical help and Koushirou helped with anything that needed a bit of logic (though Mimi had done a small business course so she could run things independently). When asked if she'd model for her, Yamato instantly changed the subject, though the glint in the other woman's eyes told her that certainly wasn't the last of the conversation.

"Ah! Taichi and Sora are here! I'll go let them in." And Takeru was off, shoving his phone back in his pocket without her getting stay anything.

Hikari came over to her and quietly whispered to her. "Taichi lied when you first left, but he's recently told the truth. Are you sure you're okay seeing him?"

 _He lied? What a dick! Well, it's not like I made things easy for anyone either…. But did everyone have to find out?_ That was one thing she didn't miss about being so close with everyone - the fact that very few things remained private. Sighing, she answered Hikari's question."Not really. But it has to be done. The sooner the better." Hikari nodded and touched the top of hand briefly in support.

She wished everyone would stop looking at her. She had no doubt they'd awkwardly be staring at her and Taichi as they spoke, making things look like a tennis match. Speaking of which… Sora came through first, after Takeru and came over to her. Yamato couldn't read her expression which made her nervous. Her eyes flicked to Taichi who was lumbering along behind her.  _Well, at least I'm not the only nervous one. Poor bugger doesn't know whats going to hit him._ She felt guilty but she was slightly excited and eager to see his reaction to her news.

"Yamato… it's been a while."  
"Yeah.. How have you been?"  
"Oh fine, fine… Taichi and I have been together for a few years now."

 _That isn't what I asked._ Straight on the defensive. That wasn't the Sora she knew. But hey, people can change and it was valid for her to be wondering  _why_  Yamato came back, especially if she was still a bit shocked after what happened before she left.  _Actually, her attitude is going to make things awkward between her and Taichi… Well, they'll just have to find away._

"Congratulations." Ah, did that sound too forced? Whatever. She asked Sora where she was working and only vaguely heard her reply, and answered on auto-pilot. She wanted to talk to Taichi, but how was she supposed to say  _"Yo Sora, that's nice but I need to take your boyfriend off to the side and speak to him privately for a moment"_? It didn't really help that Taichi was hovering to Sora's side, like a looming giant in the corner of her vision.

Thankfully Daisuke came over and dragged Taichi away and Mimi took Sora off her hands. Yamato glared at Takeru who shrugged, helping himself to more cake, clearly saying it wasn't his problem. Grabbing herself another drink (and wishing it was later in the day so she could have something stronger), Yamato walked over to Jou. He was about to start a conversation but she dragged him away from Ken.

"Sorry, I'll return him soon!" Dragging him around to the side of the house, Jou tried to get his composure back.  _Here's hoping good old reliable Jou is still there and can give me some fabulous advice.  
_ "Can I-"  
"Yes. Um so the thing is, when Taichi and I," She spoke quickly but as Jou cringed, she decided to make her rant a little less intrusive. "-Did stuff," her visibly relaxed and she mentally rolled her eyes.  _Jou._ "I kinda, maybe, fell pregnant and had twins?"

Thankfully he wasn't drinking otherwise she would have been soaked in it. Instead, she calmly patted his back and his spluttered and wheezed. "W-what?"  
"You heard me. Give me advice. How the hell am I supposed to tell him? Be quick about it, the kids will be back in a few hours."

He stood, stunned, staring at her as though she'd grown an extra torso or something. Eventually he sighed. "Just be honest. There isn't much else you can do. Though don't rattle it off that quickly. And why do you want to tell him?"  
"So my kids know who their dad is. So they can meet my friends and be able to have a larger extended family."  
"Tell him that. Takeru mentioned you owned the house outright and I would imagine it wouldn't be cheap to pack up and move from America, so its not like you need the money, but tell him that anyway."

"But  _how_  do I tell him? I doubt Sora will placidly let me sneak him out of her vision."  
Jou smiled. "Yeah, she's… something. It's not just you, its everyone so don't take it too personally. You've got more food inside, right?" Yamato nodded. "We'll make Taichi go in with you when you go to top stuff up."  
"And if that fails?"  
"I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to get Daisuke to start and food fight and force Sora to refresh herself."  
Jou grinned and she laughed. "I'm surprised that hasn't already happened."

They stayed where they were, chatting and laughing, remembering old times and filling each other in on random events. By the time they rejoined the party, the Wolves had shown up, as had her mother. Of course, she'd assumed she was invited (and by that Yamato knew she just wanted to spoil the twins some more and had come early so she could be damage control, if necessary) and had 'accidentally' mentioned that Taichi's parents were allowed to come too. Yamato snorted but didn't say anything.

Taichi was talking to Sora when her phone rang. "It's work… I'll be back in a moment." Taichi nodded before grumbling to Daisuke (close by getting food and totally not eavesdropping) that "a moment" meant "ages". Takeru shoved her (because he totally wasn't eavesdropping like she was either) and she shoved him back. "I  _know_." Again, she felt everyone's eyes on her and turned around to glare at her band who snickered at her discomfort and annoyance. Rolling her eyes, she tapped Taichi on the shoulder.

"Oh! We haven't spoken yet! How-"  
"Let's go inside."  
"Oh…kay?" She led the way, not bothering to see if he was following or to see everyone staring. She told him to shut the glass sliding door behind him before heading to the study (because if  _anyone_  barged in and saw them in the bedroom, that would not go down well). She motioned for him to sit at the low table in the room's center.

"Gotta admit, not really like where this is going so far. We can't have a normal discussion first?"  
"Whats there to say? You screwed up, I was an emotional wreck and over-reacted, running instead of solving my problems. I'm not lumping all of this on you. I didn't think I'd fully bail and leave Japan. I honestly just though I'd be gone a day or two, something which was normal for me to do if… dad and I fought…"

"Then whats with the interrogation?"  
"You're humour sucks, you know?" He snorted and shrugged in response. "Again, I'm not lumping this as your fault. It was my choice to go through with it, rather than terminating. It was my choice to go through it alone rather than return home. If I'd done either of those, things would definitely be different today. If I'd terminated, I doubt I'd be here now."

For a moment, Yamato did nothing but stare at him. She had children. Her brother and mother knew. Jou knew and so did her American friends. Her band knew (she'd made sure she'd laid down the rules of them visiting her house and their behaviours, and they needed to know what kind of arrangements she'd have when they went on tour). Her other friends needed to know, but so did the Yagami's. They had grand children, a niece and a nephew. Finding out your son gets his girlfriend pregnant, or wife, is one thing. It's a shock, but a good one. Finding out your son got his best friend pregnant despite being safe after one go and she bolts off to another country for years and then comes back and springs the news? Thats a whole different ball game.

 _Where to start?_ Her eyes drifted to the portrait on the wall. Blinking, she processed what she was looking at. "Have a look at that picture."  
"Cute kids. Yours?"  
"And yours."  
"Fuck."

Well, that wasn't exactly the response she wanted, but it was better than him flat out denying it and freaking out. "You're taking this well?"  
"Honestly, it's always been at the back of my mind. When you came back, it kinda confirmed it."  
"Why do you think I came back?"  
"I don't know, really. But if you were here to scam me, you'd have done so earlier right? And you'd probably be snarling at me…"

She smiled, reminded of the times where she and Taichi used to fight and then awkwardly try and explain how they were feeling. "I want them to know their family. I wanted to come home and fix things. I want them to know part of their culture. Its horrible to lose a parent. A good friend of mine in America died not too long ago. It got me thinking.  _What if I die?_  Yes, my friends would look after them, no worries. But friends looking after them isn't the same as their family look after them."

For a moment, there was silence, Taichi nodding and her looking between him, the table and the photo. "What are their names?" Taichi said, genuinely curious.  
"Ah…I'm not good with names, so I just called them Hiro and Aki…" She blushed, mumbling as Taichi laughed.  
When he calmed down, he spoke again. "No but really, those are nice names. Not names I would have chosen, but they suit. But onto the more important questions." She sat up straighter, unconsciously preparing herself for a fight. Taichi leaned forward. "Which is the evil twin?"

They returned to the party with more food and drinks after laughing together and her filling him in. Granted, Taichi was acting in a way that seemed more like an uncle than a father, but the fact he was willing to  _try_  and laugh and hang around was enough. Plus, he hadn't even met them yet. There was plenty of time for the three of them to bond and for them to bond as a family (regardless of the fact her and Taichi weren't together, nor would they get together anytime soon, there was no reason why they couldn't have a strong family unit).

Sora still hadn't returned from her phone call so Taichi took the chance to ask a few last questions. "Can I announce it to everyone? When will they be back? How often can I see them?"  
"Calm down. They'll be back in another two hours. We can work out when you can see them later - as long as they don't miss school, you can really have them as often as you want. Announce it as you want - you're parents are here now, so they'll be happy to know, right?" She took the chance to ask her own question, though kept her voice down. "What about Sora?"

"These are my kids. Neither of us planned this. It will hurt her, but this is about more than just her. Its about two innocent kids and if she loves me, she should be able to accept them. I won't ask her to love them or treat them as her own, though it'd be great if she did, but as long as she understands the situation and accepts it, I can't ask for anything more."

Yamato smiled and squeezed his hand. "Thank you, Taichi. I really appreciate it. This all came out of nowhere for you and you've taken it really well. I'm really thankful."

He squeezed her hand before letting it go, laughing loudly. "No worries. Now excuse me, I'm off to brag." She watched him bounce away, dragging Hikari away from Takeru (who grinned widely) and Daisuke (who was very confused) towards their parents, motioning to them to be quiet before explaining with exaggerated movements.

"So it went well then?"  
Yamato smiled. "Yeah, mum, it did." She watched the Yagami's from the other side of the yard as they started grinning and hugging Taichi (though his father did look slightly stern). "I think everything will turn out okay."

By the time Sora came back, she was surrounded by the Yagami's (and wishing for a bit of space) while her mother was crowing about how adorable the twins were. Taichi had bounced off to brag some more (she could hear Mimi screeching - was the brunette happy or furious she hadn't been informed earlier?). As more people came to discuss things with here (read: harass her), Taichi went to speak to Sora.

They came back half an hour later. Taichi was slightly subdued and Sora didn't really seem impressed. Yamato couldn't blame her, but Taichi was right. Sora was an adult and Yamato didn't need Taichi to raise her kids - having two parents was a bonus, but in no way necessary to raise a wonderful child. She was made of more money than Taichi was and really wasn't interested in having their old (and  _very_ brief) relationship rekindled. Sora and Taichi were just going to have to figure out things and move on. Yamato honestly wasn't surprised that Sora and Taichi didn't come over to her for the rest of the afternoon but it would have been nice if they had kept their emotions a bit more low key and at least pretended things were cool before having their couple's spat later.

Her mother and Taichi's parents went to pick the kids up from school. It would be good for them to meet their grandparent's before being overwhelmed with a bunch of new people. Mimi came back over to her after they left.

"You know, it really is nice to have you back again. When Takeru messaged us, I burst into tears. I had the shop for a few hours! I was really mad, y'know? But I was also so  _so_ happy that you were back, that you were safe." When Mimi latched onto her this time, Yamato didn't resist.  
"I'm really sorry Meems."  
"Don't worry us like that ever again, okay?"  
"Promise." Mimi hugged her more tightly and Yamato felt tears on her shoulder. "Thank you for being happy to see me."

With one last squeeze, the shorter girl pulled away. Her makeup was slightly messy and her smile was watery but she still beamed. "Of course! I'm not going to miss the chance to torture you, now am I?" Laughing, Mimi went to rejoin Koushirou.

Earlier, Yamato had been confident in her friends. Slightly confident in Taichi. Now, she couldn't be any more confident in her family.  _It's good to be back._


	9. Attention

Dual screeches of "I'm home!" rang out before the twins burst into the backyard, shortly followed by Taichi's parents and her mother. The twins paused when they saw the amount of people in the yard, before bounding over to her, eyes wide and mouths running a mile a minute. They spilled out the incredibly exciting details of their school day as she nodded with 'interest' before complaining of starvation. Rolling her eyes and Daisuke wondered loudly where that attitude came from, she took them over to the buffet table, where Taichi had already headed to.

She let them talk for a minute. Taichi was awkward, shuffling and nervous, while the two children stuffed their faces and tried to figure out what to make of the man attempting (and failing) to gain their attention. Sora watched from the other side of the yard, talking to Mimi and Hikari while Yamato watched her from the corner of her eye.  _We used to be friends. Is it disgusting of me to be so nervous of her?_

With full stomachs, Hiro and Aki were about to dart off to annoy their uncle, but Yamato kept them still. "Taichi's being talking nicely to you, shouldn't you introduce yourselves?"  
"I'm Hiro and this is Aki!"  
"Don't introduce me!"  
Laughing, Taichi said, "It's very nice to meet you."  
"How do you know Mama?"  
"We went to school together, and we had a few adventures too." Yamato snorted. ' _Adventures' is certainly one way to put it._

For her, it was odd telling the kids who their dad was. Most people just grew up  _knowing_. She wasn't worried about telling them - they took her mother and brother well enough, and they didn't seem to be traumatised by meeting the grandparent's. All that she needed to say was "Taichi is actually your dad, okay? So make sure you listen to him properly." and they were all over him. He was laughing along and dragged them over to Hikari.

"Children adapt a lot easier than we think."  
"Which isn't always a good thing."  
"This isn't one of those cases, dear."  
Yamato looked up at her mother, still slightly concerned. "I'm happy, of course, and there were no problems, but don't you think its a bit too fast?"  
"You made that choice when you decided to hold this thing."  
"Takeru-"  
"You didn't have to hold it, or invent Taichi or have the kids meet him today." The older woman finished her drink. "They were going to find out sooner or later, and if you want to move on with you're life, it might as well be sooner. It's too late to turn back now in any case."  
"I suppose…"  
Natsuko smiled somewhat cockily. "Suppose nothing dear. Whats done is done. Deal with it. Come help me do some dishes first, alright?"

Her mother scooped up some dirty dishes and wandered inside. She did the same, but stopped just inside the door. Aki was running around with Daisuke, vehemently refusing to return his soccer ball while Hiro was being fawned over by Mimi and Hikari. The mother smiled and murmured to herself, "Perhaps I'm worrying for nothing after all."

. .

Her phone vibrated and buzzed obnoxiously on her bed side table. Flicking the screen, she saw it was Taichi.  _Oi, I've got exams coming up buuuut I wanna see the kids in between now and then too! Dates?_  The next hour was spent figuring out when their schedules didn't clash (and 'their' meant Yamato's, Taichi's, his parent's, Hikari's, Takeru's and her mother's schedules) and then organising transport for said dates. Throwing the phone back on the table, she curled up into her blankets. It was nice, having people to share her kids, truly, it was, but sometimes, she felt as though  _they_  had her kids more than  _she_ did.

But that was what she'd decided. If she wanted to be a famous singer, she had to sacrifice some things, and personal time was one of them.  _Really, they've been my responsibility all their lives - it won't kill me to relinquish them for a few hours every week._ Taichi live in Bunkyo-ku, on the other side of the city, so in addition to him studying, it was difficult for him to take travel all the way to her end of town. It may be inconvenient at her, but if she drove the kids their on a Saturday night and picked them up the next night, instead of him wasting time, he could spend that time studying (and making sure his apartment fit her standards).

 _Just think of it like a holiday. No kids, no siblings, no family… Just you and the music._ With that last thought, she drifted into sleep, with a smile on her face. Needless to say, six hours later the smile was gone when there were two very hungry (and very loud) children jumping on her, demanding pancakes.  _I will never feel guilty about a holiday again!_

. .

She didn't think it was so much to ask. All she wanted was to watch her television shows in peace and to not be kept up at stupid hours because of Taichi's constant messages. She wasn't jealous of Yamato. When they were younger, she'd crushed on her and it had stung to find out she'd been lied to.  _Why weren't we told? Surely we could have been trusted?_ Then she left, up and gone without a trace. Years later, she'd back with "I needed to sort stuff out".  _Thats why you have friends - friends help each other out. Friends talk to each other and explain things. Friends don't just up and bail._

But that was the past. She wanted to move on, but the past was still very much alive in Hiro and Aki. They were cute kids, and it seemed Yamato had done a pretty good job raising them. Yamato was fair to Taichi, letting him have them pretty much whenever he asked and always brought them over and gave him some money in case he needed it or wanted to spoil them (which he always did) (and which both Sora and Yamato tried to tone him down on).

 _But its not fair to me_. Sora didn't think she was being selfish. After all, both her and Taichi studied and worked, so the time they had together was precious.  _I don't want him to not spend time with them, they're his kids after all. Is it too much to ask that he spends time with me too though?_  Taichi's phone beeped loudly. The brunette grabbed it almost instantly, flipping it open, illuminating the room with its harsh light.  _Scratch that and replace it with 'uninterrupted time with me'._

Sora had always believed a good relationship stemmed from friendship. So she tried appealing to Taichi as a friend, speaking to him generally, without being personal or aggressive. Being Taichi, he knew something was bothering her, yet the penny wasn't quite dropping. So she swapped paths, speaking to him as a lover. In the end, she stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

She'd been calm and polite and had tried to tell him on more than one occasion how she was feeling. She wrote it on paper, messaged him, and spoke to him - she couldn't get any clearer! In all honesty, he probably hadn't heard a word she'd said. The brunette was always absorbed in whatever he was doing (and due to other preoccupations, he certainly wasn't doing her much).  _That damn phone! How dare he just flip off my emotions like that! "I don't think its that bad" "What else do you want me to do?" "Am I not supposed to see them?" "You're not making sense" "It's not like I love you any less!"_

As she'd left, she'd screamed "Well maybe you should prove it!". The neighbours had heard. Birds had flown off at the combined noise of her and the door banging. The people in the lift shuffled awkwardly away from her. Yet she was alone. He didn't chase her. He didn't message her or call her.  _Because his focus isn't on me anymore. His focus is on her._ It wasn't until she got home that she allowed herself to crumple, to fall into a heap and sob until her chest her.  _I just want to know you still care like you used to._


	10. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M-Stat is an actual show (short for Music Station) which I obviously don't own.   
> Sorry for the rush of chapters. Laziness on my part. I'm on hiatus for August, but I'll start updating properly once September comes. Stay well!

" _Shit_." She wasn't one for swearing, but the fact that the hotel's lobby was swarming with screaming paparazzi did not bode well. The band was currently renting out a place in Tokyo for a few days (so 'band' meant Yamato's bank account), saving time on commuting and the like while they did a few random indie gigs and recorded their comeback single. Stomping back into the living room, she snarled. "I though we'd agreed to keep the media out of this!"  
"Don't snap at us, blondie. We didn't do jack."  
Takaishi nodded. "You think I want to go out into that? You might as well send me naked covered in meat to a wolf pack!"  
"How bad is it though? Its not what we wanted, and its going to interfere with out personal lives, but in the long run, how bad is it?" Grumbling at Yutaka's sense, she flopped onto the couch next to them.  
"Where do we go from here then?"  
"I suppose we just have to wait until management sorts things out."  
Akira smiled. "Its not the way we wanted it, but it looks like the Wolves are back in action."

. .

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

"I said I'm fine, mum." Yamato rolled her eyes at her mother's question. She'd only messaged her an hour ago, saying the same thing after all. "How are the kids?" At this point, she thought she couldn't feel any more guilty, but her mother proved her wrong. Of course, Natsuko couldn't leave now. She had a job to get to, but Yamato was stuck, due to the sudden influx of work. The kids were worried, having always been relatively protected from cameras, but now, they were surrounded by them.

"They're okay, really. We take a taxi to and from school, so theres less time for them to be stressed and some of the press has already left, realising I won't talk."  
"I'm sorry, mum. I don't know how this all got out."

"Thats okay." Judging by the exhaustion in her mother's voice, it most certainly wasn't. "Just finish your work so you can come home." With a click, the line went dead and she remembered why she hated the media.

. .

"The single will be released next week-"  
Akira spat out his drink while Takaishi yelled. "It wasn't supposed to be for another month!"  
Their manager sighed. "Circumstances change. We might as well take advantage of the hype while you're still a hot topic."  
"Any idea on who the rat is, sir?"

"They've already been fired and we're proceeding with legal action, Yamato." She smirked as he continued. She'd always adored Tony - he was biracial, with a Japanese mother and a Canadian father and had looked after her ever since she started working with the label. He was quiet and didn't leave much of a presence, but as soon as his staff were messed with, he became quite cold and determined.

"So far the charges are making public private documents, breaking more than one contract and tapping phone conversations."  
"Who-"  
"We aren't sure what information was extracted and from what phones. As soon as we find out, we'll tell you."  
Yamato narrowed her eyes, not entirely happy with the information, but Tony hadn't let her down before, so she let it slide. "What's our schedule until release?"

"You'll be performing on M-Stat tomorrow, as well as three interviews with magazines. We have some questionnaires, that you were asked to fill out too. A photo shoot on the day after, and we've organised a surprise live in Tokyo Dome City, replacing the regular show." Sighing, he looked at them. "Get some rest today, because you'll be exhausted by release, and this is only the tip of the iceberg."

. .

"Sucks to be you, huh?"  
"Its irritating, to say the least."  
"Kids doin alright?"  
"My mother is looking after them."  
"Poor things! I bet they miss you!"  
"Rub it in, why don't you?"

She didn't know if her phone had been bugged, or if her laptop had been or even if the hotel room had been (though she knew she was being sightly paranoid with that last one), but she needed to talk to someone, just for a bit of a break. Someone who wasn't involved.

"Anything we can do for you?"  
"Not unless you know how to slay a media hound." She snorted in response as Tom laughed heartily.  
"You'll get through it. How bad is it, anyway?"  
"You mean apart from the fact I'm stuck in a crappy hotel except for work? That the media is waiting in the lobby? That I can't see my kids and the only reason we're news is because of a rat who I was fool enough to trust?"  
"You chose that life when you decided to be a hot shot celebrity."  
'That doesn't mean I have to like it!"  
"Do they have anything on your time in America? Or about the kid's dad? Your own dad?"  
"Not on the first two. They don't have any new info on my dad, and I won't be answering any questions about his death either. People should be able to be grieve in peace, no matter how much time has passed since their loss."

She hated skype. It always blurred the faces of those she loved and lagged. But even so, Chelsea's "Hang in there, princess!" and pixelated smile still made her smile. It wouldn't be enough to get her through the month, but for the day? It was plenty.

. .

Yamato had never been more thankful for having a boyish figure. Tying her hair up and shoving it under a cap, she put on baggy pants, a loose shirt and hipster glasses, before leaving the hotel room. The single had been released, so the press had gotten off their backs slightly. Their interviews hadn't been particularly interesting. They were newbies to fame, really. Indie fame and national media were two completely different ballgames. They'd stuttered and stumbled, attempted and failed to be funny and were asked repetitive questions that deserved cookie cutter answers.

Travelling by train, she saw people reading interviews about the Wolves on their tablets, of their faces plastered on magazines. She saw a billboard as she passed through Harajuku of her and her guitar and couldn't help but hate the way her hair was styled. She could hear her voice through the headphones of a teen who would be deaf by the time he was thirty. People around her gossiped, not knowing who she was, slamming her band, her song, praising them, idolising her body and wondering what diet she was on.

Yamato had always hated public transport, but she'd never hated a trip so much as she'd hated that one. Getting off in Odaiba, Yamato found a florist, and picked a bunch of flowers that weren't too showy. Leaving, she followed a somewhat familiar path until her feet reached a gate, which she delicately pushed open. Once stepping through, all sound seemed to disappear. Walking through the headstones, she tried to remember exactly where her father was.

Kneeling in front of the cold stone, she placed the flowers and lit some incense. For a moment, she prayed for him, hoping he was happy wherever he was. She shifted onto her haunches before speaking. "It's been a while. I'm sorry for not visiting you before this. I suppose I should have brought you nicer flowers." She swatted away a bee that had decided the flowers were nice enough.

"I left for a long time. A bit over seven years." Making herself more comfortable, she filled the silence with her story. It felt nice, in a sense. She could be honest. The stone wasn't going to judge her and nobody was around to see her tears. Perhaps her father was well and truly dead and gone, but she liked to think that he was sitting on top of the rock in front of her, nodding and humming, pretending he had something smart to say before coming out with some joke. It took her a while to finish, far longer than when she'd told Takeru and her mother. She told the full truth, with details and side stories. She spoke of her concerts and awards, her kids and how much trouble they caused her. She hiccupped and stopped when he throat became too tight to do anything but cry.

"I'm mad that you left me. I'll never not be. You were an idiot, you know? But you were my idiot." Sniffling, she wiped her nose on the back of her hand, thinking how stupid she was for not bringing a handkerchief. "But more than that, I miss you. And I'll never stop missing you. Just promise you'll watch over our family, okay? Promise me."

She didn't know whether to take the warm sun on her back and the wind rustling the flowers in front of her as a sign she was alone, or a sign her father agreed.


End file.
